30 years on
Grief has dogged me
For a long time
From diagnosis to internment
And on, and on.
At first, grief was a snarling cur, curled lips deep bark, bared teeth,
Full of warning and pain,
Then the quick tenacious bite,
And oozing tears.
Later grief was a neurotic little lap dog nipping at my heels,
And wanted attention
But too fearful to allow itself to be held and petted.
Sometimes came the wolf eyed Guard dog,
Suspicious and angry
But practical, working for food and board, but wary.
I needed to watch my hands.
As I became accustomed, grief became a cute friendly cuddly pup,
Quick to please, but confused when her bite punctured skin, drew blood, and my curse.
Grief grew with me and now is sometimes like an old and sleepy companion dog,
Belly up under the table.
The two of us comfortable in each other presence.
My sighs and breaths of regret doesn’t alarm the old dog,
Nor wake her from her nap.
Grief grows on me, …